Dust off the leather umbrella and slap some Turtle-Wax on your shit-kickers—Monday awaits…
*Note: We neglected to include any information pertaining to the barometric pressure in your hometown because, let’s face it—nobody gives a shit about the barometric pressure in your hometown…
The ADHD Chuck Norris Radar Run-Down: As you can see, ADHD Chuck Norris is still distracted by the Great Lakes, therefore he has yet to relay us any real information which relates to the radar images…We apologize for the inconvenience…
*Note: The stress of being located directly under Chuck’s lethal & gargantuan genitals was simply too much for Texas to bear—the lonestar state broke off and sank to the bottom of the Gulf of Mexicoil early this morning…
Published by: Sampsonian & Ron-Yves
Damn, Texas really got violently tea-bagged by Chuck Norris. They had it coming. Plus, one of my ex-boyfriends lives there, and he really had it coming, so all in all, great forkass.
With the help of Norass—we were able to deep-six that chump for ya’…Three cheers!
I just realized that Lake Michigan looks like my wang.
Maybe that’s why Chuck is taking aim on it…? We all that Norris hate’s your frackin wang—and why wouldn’t he? Your dong is a Great Lake-wannabe…so lame of your wang
Denny’s is more like the English Channel because someone’s always stroking on it.
…and that ‘someone’ is Denny—unless you dial the booty-call on your rotary-Droid…ya know, the one that looks like all 3 Wilson Philips chicks combine…Yes—I’m jealous…
It could go your way…
prove it
Only Denny can offer real proof…Side Note: Denny’s hair is rumored to be 100-proof
Your weather forecast is so freakishly accurate I would almost call you a psychic, except that I actually live in an advanced timezone, meaning in my case your forecast is more of an aftercast, but still, I did give someone the finger in my morning traffic commute. I also called them a dickhead. Partly because I am just an angry person, and partly because they went around a roundabout, the wrong way, in a truck.
Your hand-gestures were more than justified, we support you all the way—maybe the other motorist was American? We’re not the brightest bunch…
Thanks Ruby!
-s
wow…. this is definately a very intriguing insight into your psyche today boys…
this is definately a boy post
hehe
i couldnt relate… especially since I dont have a cock..i dont have thunder thighs and my breasts are just heavenly…:P
Our psyche? Tell us about our psyche you spicy heathen…
Your breasts are heavenly? My ass is hellish…Opposites attract, right?
i guess so…i answer your email questions yet you rarely answer mine..and yet we still correspond..i’d say your right babe! Opposites DO seem to attract haha
LOL
Whatever you cook next—is getting tossed right in your face (after I’ve eaten some)…
Whatchoogonnadooaboutit????
There is no crying in weather reporting. Not if Chuck Fucking Norris has anything to say about it. And we all know that Chuck talks with his fists. Well, his fists and his nuts.
Yes sir—Texas learned that shit the hard way my friend…I hear Oklahoma Bay is wonderful this time of year
Thanks Scott!
Awesome weather – & rats race forecast again. Normally you would be right in my case: I don’t like Mondays and they hate my guts too. But this week I only start on Wednesday, so I can still watch traffic jams with a sense of detachment and sarcasm.
(For some reason I can’t see the second picture.)
Thanks Gruff—I asked a few peeps and everyone can see itp…maybe Norris just didn’t want to be seen at the time—it happens…
Try again
Thanks Gruff—enjoy your mini-vaca!
No problem, it’s as you said, Chuck Norris eluding my sight to make a point. I have confirmation because he suddenly appeared in this Pulp Fiction movie poster that I have on my living room wall. He just knocked out Bruce Willis, and is currently holding John Travolta and Samuel L. Jackson in a headlock. Uma Thurman seems impressed.
You never know where he’s popping up—I once saw him at a grocery store breaking boxes of Cinnamon Toast Crunch over his forehead…
I watched in amazement…
I’m not liking those odds of me crying in the tub.
I’m sorry Mini—it was true in my case though…I was in the tub, wearing sweat-pants—crying my ass off by 9:30 this morning…I feel better now though
I just noticed the sun is wearing a condom hat filled with poop.
Sampsonianslumber certainly put a condom on the Sun’s head—I’m not seeing the poop though…Maybe your vision is turning to shit?
Maybe Sampson will chime in later to clarify things…
-s
The sun also appears to be praying for Chuck to put him out of his misery!
85% chance of crying in the bathtub is right. I was looking for my toaster to join me for a soak but ran out of outlets.
You can never have too many outlets near the tub…